Hold My Beer
by smileanddoitanyway
Summary: Based completely off "Hold My Beer" by Trace Adkins. Dean and Cas are getting married, but it is not the wedding little girls dream about. Just for fun.


"Dearly beloved we are gathered up in here today to join in holy monogamony this feller and this ol' guy he brought with him," the pastor intoned.

Castiel glared at Dean, but the hunter just grinned back. "Bobby is the one who's going to marry us?" he whispered incredulously.

"He took the online test to get ordained just for us. What was I supposed to do?" the green eyed man replied. Cas rolled his eyes, but stayed by the altar with his hand in Dean's.

The church was packed with other angels, hunters from all over the country, even a few people who had been saved by the Winchesters and their trusty angel sidekick. Dean looked out at all the people who had given up their night to come celebrate his freaking wedding and felt pride swelling in his chest. Sure, it wasn't the fanciest affair-he was holding a long neck for Christ's sake- but it still felt good to stake his claim.

The white suit Cas had picked out contrasted beautifully with his dark hair and blue eyes, while Dean's own black ensemble made him look like a secret agent. Like Bond. The newest one, not the one with the weird accent. Bobby broke through the hunter's reverie with a sharp, "You wanna slip the ring on his damn finger?" Dean jumped in surprise before realizing he'd missed his cue a few times.

"Yeah, sorry. Hey Sam, hold my beer." The best man put on an impressive bitch face at the groom's request, but reached out to grab the drink. Dean held on just long enough to say, "I want that back without a drop missing, got it?"

"Dean, you are getting married. Quit worrying about your fucking beer!" Sam nearly squealed. Dean's cheeks turned red in embarrassment and he quickly apologized to his angel who was patiently waiting with his hand outstretched. Sam covered his shit eating grin with a swig from the long neck.

"I now pronounce you…Y'all," Bobby declared after the rings had (finally) been exchanged.

When the ceremony ended, Sam handed the beer back to its rightful owner and ran out with the rest of the congregation. "Dammit, Sam! I trusted you!" followed him out of the church.

The reception was just a few blocks from the little church, so the newlyweds decided to walk. "You happy?" Dean asked, nerves causing his voice to shake slightly.

"Of course," Castiel replied. He slipped his hand in his husband's and gave it a squeeze. "It was not a conventional union, but what else can be expected from a Winchester affair?" Dean looked over to make sure the angel was joking and was relieved by the smile he saw.

He threw his arm over the dark haired man's shoulders and pulled him in for a bruising kiss. A deep thumping wound its way through the ground and into both men's chests, startling Castiel. "Party time!" Dean crowed as he pulled Cas towards the empty building in front of them now pumping with bass.

The cake was cut almost as soon as the lovebirds walked in because "Sam's hungry", which they all knew was bad news. The music meandered through the typical wedding songs- electric slide, shout, the Macarena- while everyone continued to frequent the open bar. The Winchesters knew better than to have a get together without free booze if they were inviting hunters. Even the angels sampled the alcohol, though they didn't feel much of an effect.

Dean and Castiel were at the front of a conga line when they ran headfirst into a solid object. "Cassie, darling!" a lilting British accent called.

"Balthazar…" Castiel started, but he was quickly cut off by Dean shoving something into his chest.

"Hold my beer. This won't take long. I want it back, so don't drink any of it. I trust you, honey. Hang on to my beer." With those words, Dean drew back his arm and punched his husband's ex right in the face.

Balthazar didn't react for a second. "That almost hurt," he finally said after a few seconds of tense silence. Then he was on Dean, pummeling him into the ground. Dean fought back viciously, but his strength wasn't a match for the uninvited angel's.

"Don't ruin my husband's face!" Castiel screeched. He pulled Balthazar off the bleeding man beneath him, and smashed the beer bottle against his head. Cas' superior strength broke the bottle, sending lukewarm booze all over Balthazar, Dean, and himself, but he still considered it a win because Balthazar's eyes rolled back in his head and he crumpled to the floor in an unconscious lump.

"That's my man!" Dean hollered before spitting out blood and a tooth. Castiel simply sighed dramatically and healed Dean with two fingers to his forehead.

The band, who had stopped playing to watch the fight, started up again suddenly, playing a few songs from the grooms' classic rock playlist. Out of nowhere a man that looked all too familiar, with his beady eyes and thinning gray hair, stood up and yelled, "What is this mullet rock bullshit?"

Once again silence descended. A pin drop would have sounded like thunder in the auditory vacuum. Then everyone started shoving and all that could be heard was "Hold my beer! It'll only take a second to whoop his ass! I didn't give that to you to drink! Dammit, well it's gone now," from nearly two hundred throats.

Dean and Cas ignored the commotion, choosing instead to slow dance to music only they could hear. "We can't invite your family anywhere," Dean whispered against the shell of Cas' ear.

"I blame you Winchesters," Cas whispered back before biting Dean's earlobe playfully. The scuffle died down when Zachariah fled the party, only to be resurrected when the absence of the stockpile of beer became known.

"Never ask a preacher to guard your beer," Bobby belched at them as he walked by unsteadily. Castiel looked at Dean for a moment before they both nearly fell over in laughter.


End file.
